Winter is Magic

The Sun's warm gold,
The quilt's warm fold,
The mist on the window,
The cold on the pillow,
The thin evening breeze,
The freeze and sneeze,
The froth in the coffee mug,
The cuddle and the hug,
The large gulps of rum,
The soup and the crumbs,
The hot shower and the steam,
The oodles of cold cream,
The plethora of day dreams and aspirations,
The never-ending desires and fascination,
The thick layers of bright winter wear,
Yes, it's the season of ample love and care.

Productive Praise or Constructive Criticism: Take your pick!

A lot of times you come across things and activities that attract you almost instantly. You haven't done any of them ever before but at least you wish and intend to try. And the willingness to try itself is something that works as the best motivation. To top it all, what more would you ask for, if your loved ones come forth and believe in you and want to support you in your little endeavour? That is like a perfect moment. And you’re rising towards the Cloud Nine already? Hell yes!

The cherries on the cake (to accompany the support and belief in you and your talent) are a few words of appreciation by your loved one. It sure would make the cake look and taste yummier. 

Moving further, I would like to highlight a known fact that a human mind is demanding and is possessed with greed; the greed to be recognised, greed to be mentioned about and praised - a tendency that comes naturally to us humans. Of course, when you do something unique and different from the usual, you want it to be noticed. That is when you turn your 'greed streak' on. You wish to be praised and liked for what you have done. It comes out as a natural instinct because of your belief in the activity.

There's this thing about praise and criticism that when you come across any, you just can't seem to get over it. When you're praised, and praised by a loved one or someone you like, it makes you happy. You feel as if you're on top of the world. There seems to be nothing better than that mere feeling and it is highly satisfying. You try and maintain the thing you're praised for because you understand that you're good at it and eventually will be liked for it. So you grow that thing into perfection.

Criticism too comes with its share of reactions. The moment you face criticism for a thing that you do, you feel shattered and let down. All your excitement and hard work that you’ve put in, seems to go in vain. It especially affects you and the feeling begins to grow on you when it comes from someone you love and admire. But if thought practically, it's for you to understand that critiquing helps one try again, just so that you push yourself to do better. Better to the extent where you drive yourself towards the level of excellence and eventually be praised for.

For me the best example to quote here is that of my mother. She's been an inspiration to many in the past and still continues to be one. While being a business woman, she has known the art of being a perfect wife, mother, daughter and a homemaker. She loves to cook, has immense passion to learn and try new cuisines whenever time permits. She does it amazingly well and has been fortunate enough to earn praises time and again. And it’s her sheer conviction towards the art that she manages to bring just the right taste and flavour in anything new and different that she prepares. 

Even if she fails to some extent (which rarely happens) to bring the right tinge the first time and if she's told (or she herself realises) what went missing, she will still make it the next time, keeping a track of everything that she adds (and in right quantities) to the dish. I have never seen her giving up easily. She has always managed to correct and fill the little gaps while happily moving towards the path of perfection.

Therefore, I believe, one must never give up on things they like doing. Yes, praise and criticism do play a very important part in shaping one’s personality. But it’s essential to understand the difference between a genuine and a pseudo praise and/or criticism. Praise and criticism can be productive and/or constructive or destructive depending upon two things: first, the right mindset, and second, the right skills. As far as mindset is concerned, intention is everything. One must identify the intention behind the praise or criticism. Is the praise intended to support and motivate you and highlight skills and behaviour you can build upon further? Is the criticism intended to provide an objective basis on which you can plan to improve for future purposes? Or is it just the opposite? Too often the ones jealous and insecure will take the route of critiquing with an intention to bog you down. Whereas the ones who truly love and care for you, even while criticizing you, will never leave your side and continue to boost your morale. 

So, get the intention right and remember to think through what someone is really trying to achieve in giving the praise or criticism. With that thought, never stop dreaming and letting your passion die within you. Let it come out and be seen. Shine on!

Life in a METRO

Unlike Mumbai, the city of dreams and aspirations, Delhi is the city of cultures and traditions. I’m not going to point out differences or make any comparisons between the two because they’re both amazing in their respective terms. And this isn’t about that. 

Modern Delhi, as it is known, has housed numerous kingdoms and empires in its glorious past. It has also been captured, ransacked and rebuilt several times, which makes it a cluster of a number of cities spread across the metropolitan region. This is why Delhi is sometimes called the City of cities. But this is not even about Delhi’s history.

Being the City of cities, Delhi’s culture and lifestyle have been influenced by its lengthy history and geographical proximity. It has been a host to people from myriad cultures and traditions, embracing one and all. Apart from a majority of north Indians, one can find many people from the south, the west and the east. And the best place to find them all together, standing shoulder-to-shoulder is none other than the city’s lifeline – the Delhi Metro.

It’s been more than a decade since its first section (Red Line) opened on December 24, 2002, and Delhiites breathed a sigh of relief. For them it was nothing less than a blessing in disguise! A saviour from the maddening traffic on roads, safer and cleaner than the other public transport systems. And not to forget the fully air conditioned coaches. 

It was only after I finished high school that I started commuting through metro. Maintaining a seven year long relationship hasn’t been easy. My travels have taught me a lot and to some extent, have helped me become a better person. It has been a journey of mixed emotions – happiness, laughter, tears, vent outs, agitation, irritation, care, concern, respect and so on. It has not only facilitated travelling and connectivity, but it has made me fall in love with this city (yes, despite of whatever is written and heard about Delhi).

Besides that, there’s much more that it has to offer to its daily riders like myself. For instance, travelling with people from diverse cultural backgrounds is in itself a huge giveaway by Delhi Metro. At one nook you may find two smartly dressed Manipuri girls talking rapidly in their native language, and a trader with a big paunch from Chawri Bazar taking bulk orders over his phone on the other. And that is not all. 

If one observes closely and carefully, a metro ride is nothing less than a typical Bollywood masala blockbuster. There’s romance (couples holding hands, coochie-cooing) and comedy. Lots of action (CISF staff dragging men out of the women’s coach and the never-ending arguments) topped with drama (women bitching about their mother and daughter-in-laws). From the fashionable and tech-savvy college-goers to the stylishly dressed office folk, the disastrous unshapely dames to the crotch scratching monstrous chaps, the book readers, the music lovers, the prayer enchanters, the loud conversationalists and the bird watchers… you will find them all. 

And there is more… the emotional outbursts, the broken relationships, the cry babies, the feeding mothers, the loitering nippers who love stepping on your feet, peek-a-boo into co-passengers’ cell phones, the pretentious friends who seem to forget who you are, the super enthusiastic teenage crowd giggling and jabbering at the top of their voices, the innocent hippies and firangs, and the ultimate goal – to grab a personal space on the way to one’s destination.

And if that is not enough, then the once in a while technical defaults and breakdowns causing havoc and stampedes across densely populated metro stations. It is moments like these when the feeling of admiration for the city goes for a toss, not only because of the crowded lot, but because of lack of civic sense it possesses. The pushing and pulling, screeching and shrieking, arguments and misbehaviour… it all starts to take a toll on one’s mood and the entire day is screwed. I fail to understand the need for such ghastly behaviour. Yes, everyone needs to rush to their respective offices. Everyone has to meet deadlines. But will the inhumane attitude do any good? But who cares! 

On records, Delhi Metro reported its highest ridership of 2,504,900 (a day) as on August 8, 2013, resultant of more than 2500 train trips that are made each day traversing over 69,000 km. With an ever increasing populace of Delhi and majority relying on the metro for their daily travel, I strongly feel that DMRC has been putting in a lot of efforts. But it is for the localities to understand and realise the importance of such efforts. Reckless mannerisms do nothing but get a bad name to the city and its people. High time people start taking responsibility of their actions. And as Bapu rightly puts it, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Because it's all about 'Breaking the Ice'

The excitement to meet someone whom you haven’t seen in years or someone you haven’t met before and the anxiety before joining a new work place (and/or school or college) amongst new faces is relatively a similar feeling. Definitely those little butterflies begin to flutter in the stomach. You cannot anticipate what’s in store. It’s just the sheer curiosity that plays a smart game in your mind. And begins the array of questions - what will happen, what kind of people will I be around, who will make the first move and break the ice, will anyone be interested in talking to me, will I be happy, and so on.

More often than not, no matter how hard we try, we end up being a little hesitant. The anxiety and newness begins to take a toll and we start showing the signs of initial nervousness. And it is in this feeling of nervousness and being stuck between walls of inhibitions, we try ‘breaking the ice’. This can be because of two reasons – one that we don’t intend to look stupid in front of new people or two we start feeling that lack of communication is giving out wrong signals about us. So to overcome such feelings, small talk turns into the much needed weapon.

Many a times we may come across as someone who’s high on attitude or may be an introvert (which definitely may not be the case). It’s just the fear and hesitation certain people have in their mind that refrain them from making a start. While some of us may not be good with conversation or words, there may be some who begin to think that the other is superior and is disinterested in talking (which also may not be true).

So while playing the game of “pehle aap pehle aap”, it’s always important to break free. Even if the other one is quiet, you take it forward. Will it make much of a difference? Absolutely! It’s good to showcase who you are than showing them who and what you are not. Initiating wouldn’t make you small and the best solution to becoming a great conversationalist is to lessen your dependence on your ego. Talk free, without the fear of rejection.

Building on relationships is like getting into the commitment of marriage. It’s where you have to tell them who and what you are in the very beginning. Being positive about yourself and keeping a constant smile on your face will not only help you with self-assurance but also let other people embrace you with open arms.

So reprogram your mind, get it in the right place and throw away the fears and anxiety. The world is out there, waiting for you. Go on and smile your best, because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.

Tinkerbell turns Twenty-four

Edited my dear friend's picture with a self-composed poem. Had put this into a silver-brown frame.

As I lovingly call her Tinkerbell, drew and colored this for her with a gift tag.

Wrapped the frame with a lemon green handmade sheet with the Tinkerbell stick-on & gift tag.

Baked a Marble Cake too with tooty-fruity fruits & choco-chips.

Every Dog has it's Day!

Memories good and bad,
Times happy and sad,
If experience is what we name them,
Treasure each one as a precious gem.

For life is all about learning,
A process that's never ending,
Take it all in your stride,
With sheer happiness and pride.

Because its the lessons that bring wisdom,
And deeds that make a man and his kingdom,
Remember your worst and your best,
For nearing perfection can never be a seamless quest.

Keep a strong will and find a way,
What if today is not your day,
Hard work and conviction will always pay,
And like they very strongly say... "Come what may, every dog will have its day."

Oh Boy! (Birthday Wish)

A guy of principles,
Bestowed with sharp intellect.
A character so critical and invincible,
Thinks he’s Mr. Perfect.

He’s sometimes crass,
Sometimes uberly sweet.
A personality with contrasts,
Extremely organized and neat.

Unpredictable and never obvious,
He tries to be particular.
At times gets pretentious,
But one hell of an inquisitor.

But whatever he may be like,
This lad has an aura to him.
And when it comes to matters of Love unlike,
His chances of success remain slim. ;-)